Saturday, March 2, 2013

Promotion of positive self image video feature information

Hello To all! I am going to be doing a video for next month to further celebrate and encourage women and self image. If you are a woman and would like to be featured please send a photo. If your photo isn't used in this video I will try to include it in any future videos or article and posts which will include a link. Please send only ONE of the best that you have and absolutely no bathroom phone pics please!!! And absolutely NO NUDITY! Let's keep it classy ladies!!! I will include all the details once the video gets finished and I will notify everyone whose picture I use. If interested please send to:
Thank you for you interest in helping me uplift and encourage positive self image in women.

Friday, March 1, 2013


I have been working on a poem for a while. This poem was touching for me because writing it meant I had to relive some past experiences that I was going through and that touched me in a way that I will never forget. Memories have a way of making life seem surreal sometimes and this is one of those times. Opening and sharing how I am really feeling is something I have been experiencing since that moment I felt like life was really wonderful and freeing. Finally the oxygen that I am breathing is really sentimental and as momentous as everything was made to be. No longer do I feel as if I don’t matter. No longer do I yearn to feel the raw emotions that every being around me somehow embellishes. Because I have learned how to feel and how to look at myself in the mirror and truly love myself first; and when I think of all that is and has changed within me; I am overcome with the peace of mind that I was so scared to get lost in but at the same time that sense of melancholy and grief lingers silently and constantly anytime I am alone and lamenting the past. I love so deep and selfishly that it becomes a drug to me and then I get intertwined with wanting and needing to feel, touch, see anything that’s associated with that one particular love. Then it leaves and I am left standing and feeling all alone again. My Heart As I sit here thinking about love so true My face is wet with tears past due What infinite sadness what total lack of courage What misplaced bravery What pain and suffering my heart and “loving” has Put me through. I wish I was strong like I use to be Before love and pain weakened me It hurts it stabs like a sharp blade As the memories we shared were snatched away And are continuously and forcefully made to fade…. In this present moment of reality while these sentimental Feelings remain dormant inside of me My heart, O my heart I cry out to you silently It is the lack of his love which brings me sorrow It is the need for his love that leaves my heart in pain Yet he is not mine he was never mine he will never be mine O my poor heart How can I make you see reason When all you do is show me the truth.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Bloggers mind

I don’t want you to describe something I’m not. I don’t want to hide the hopes that I have. I just want  to enjoy what’s meant to enjoy....

OK now that I have the time to visit my blog page I decided to try to reach out and visit other blog pages just to see what's going on with other people around the world. Some of these people that I have visited haven't posted anything for a while ( myself included) LOL...anyhow I can't help but wonder if maybe these "co-bloggers" have either let life have its way with them or they just do not find this whole blogging thing worth the time.
As humans we all like to be accepted in society even if it is a blogging society.
 We all are uniquely made individuals who have different attributes that contribute to make a society, "the blogging" society come together as whole or divide slowly but surely and separate. And that's the thing you have to remember about being in these blog societies, you can't find yourself getting so caught up in gaining followers and being better than someone else because we are all here for the same reason..BLOGGING! And  if you are not careful the only person worth your time will be  you. What may make you the most intriguingly popular individual with all these "untouchable blog awards" that will never ever amount to anything..... may also be the thing that brings out the same attribute in someone else that draws people to them and away from you. This continues on forever and will always be for centuries to come. To be  frank its called popularity with the masses. Gaining the eye of anyone. Consuming yourself and your time with something that was merely and expression of yourself,and a way to open up and be free no matter what. You found yourself always checking to see who commented or who imaginatively patted your back for something you probably sat up for days to write, mind you, you were not getting any residuals or any compensations for the long nights and tireless efforts you put into the whole facade that you have now created within; that has you hungry for the attention from followers who's compliments aren't enough because you need more! Before you know it you have created a personality that was a desperate attempt to reinvent need to feel needed you need this feeling of people giving you attention that you have come to drink in like a cool glass of lemonade on a hot summer day! But its no longer like it use to be. There is someone better than you who can capture the minds of others in a way that keeps them grasping for just a little flirt of what may be brewing in their minds that they have no way to express on their own yet; so they flock to you to learn you, to study you, to be inspired by you, to gain strength from you, to write somewhat like you, to find the courage to break away from you, to intrigue minds like you, use words the right way like you, and to draw an audience of their own to themselves without the cycle continues.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Afro Blue

Afro Blue
I have been working on this for a while. It started as a blank canvas for many weeks and then I decided to go in my art studio and just stare at the canvas until something in my deep thoughts inspired me to paint. As I was standing I was listening to my "deep music" as it is called on the play list on my IPhone. That's when my mind and the music intertwined and I began to paint. I just started telling a story about one of the songs, well actually my favorite song by one of my favorite artists by the name of  Lizz Wright and the name of the song was actually Afro Blue. I know that this song has been performed and rewritten by many other jazz artists and it was originally released
on the album Mongo (Fantasy Records - 1959)  but there is something about this version that I love so much. I like the mystical sounds of the music as it is matched with the sultry tones of Lizz's voice. She truly is a wonderful and adaptable singer. I love her music.I wanted to put a link to the song with her singing it but I can't find one so I will just put the lyrics along with a link to the instrumental.
                                                                          Afro Blue
Dream of a land my soul is from
                                                        I hear a hand stroke on a drum
                                                                       Elegant boy
                                                                     Beautiful girl
                                                                    Dancing for joy
                                                                     Delicate whirl
                                                                   Shades of delight
                                                                         Cocoa hue
                                                                     Rich as a night
                                                                         Afro blue

                                                     Two young lovers dance face to face
                                                                  With undulating grace
                                                                   They gently sway
                                                                    Then slip away
                                                              To some secluded place

                                                                  Whispering trees
                                                                   Echo their sighs
                                                                   Passionate pleas
                                                                   Tender replies
                                                                 Shades of delight
                                                                      Cocoa hue
                                                                 Rich as the night
                                                                       Afro blue

                                                                 Lovers on flight
                                                                Upward they glide
                                                                 Burst at the height
                                                                   Slowly subside

                                             And my slumbering fantasy assumes reality
                                                          Until it seems it's not a dream
                                                                The two are you and me
                                                                     Shades of delight
                                                                         Cocoa hue
                                                                    Rich as the night
                                                                        Afro blue


Thursday, November 29, 2012

A new me

Well yestereday I celebrated another birthday! yay! and I enjoyed every minute of it. I was not sad at all I was in fact excited and full of good cheer. And today I am still feeling good. But today I have decided to do a little self searching and find out why some things in my life are the way that they have been. I was always feeling down up until my birthday because that was also the day my older sister passed seven years ago but you know I thought and as I was preparing myself to be moody and melancholy I actually could'nt do it! I had so much goodness stewing up from getting to go home for thanksgiving and seeing my family that I have not seen in seven years that there was no room for being down. So that's why I am deciding now that every year around this time I am going to be the most happiest and grateful person that anyone will ever encounter. Now another thing that I am thinking about is getting my inspiration and drive back to paint and write like I use too. I have been through so much emotionally and physically the past 7 months I have lost loved ones that were near and dear to me. I have been hurt and used until the point I started to doubt myself and who I was and why I even existed.  I can't say that I understand why people can build you up just to open you up to them and then knock you down so far that you don't think you can get back up. Almost to the point that you forget that you have other people in your life that support you and have always been there for you. I consider myself a very loyal friend and if anyone I am close with cannot see that than that 's there loss.Some people are so selfish that they do and say things that actually make them look ignorant just to portray an image that is not there's and shows how shallow minded they really are. Now I am getting time to myself and my family I just don't seem motivated to even read like I use too. But I have decided to deal with things as they happen and then once its been recognized there is no carry over. I refuse to take anymore doggy bags full of leftover problems home with me or to keep in my mind. Once I am full in the trash it goes! I am taking a stand over my life! I am a healthy strong minded individual and nothing or no one can take that away from me. I am living my life to the fullest and anyone is more than welcome to join me.I  am going to get things back for myself and nothing or no one will ever again take that away from me. Yes, I'm coming back even smarter and even more fierce so watch out!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The reality of it all

I have been on a journey and it has been a very emotional one. I have'nt had time for anyone not even myself for that matter. I have been working and the hours of my job were very long and I can't help but wonder if it was done intentionally. Needless to say I have met a lot of interesting people and I can't say that they were all very pleasant to be around. If you notice I said "WERE" when describing my hours because Im no longer employed due to my own decison to leave. I had some things that I was dealing with and one of them was not being able to be home with my kids at dinner time, not being able to go to any of my teenager daughter and sons games and not being able to be there for my children when they needed me. I was basically a workaholic by no choice of my own. My children made sure I knew that as well. My husband was also bringing his work home trying to compensate for me not being here when I was needed. Dinner was mostly pizza and take-out and by the time I finally made it home all I wanted a shower and bed just to get up and start the whole thing all over again.This was a never-ending cycle for 6 months until I woke up one morning when I had to be at the office a little later than usual and sat on my bed trying to persuade myself to get dressed and go to work. I couldn't do it anymore. Now my husband and I had a coversation the night before and one of the things he asked me was who are you doing this for? It was then I realized that I didn't know why I was working so much he never told me that our lives depended on me working afterall I had not worked in five years and now I'm hitting the workforce with full force....why? He also said that he has always made my decisions for me and this time he was going to let me make this one for me because this is your life and this is your journey and whatever is going on with you or whatever your dealing with I can't decide or change that for you. And now I'm back sitting on my bed the next morning trying to persuade myself why I should get up and return to my job. It was hard but I managed to go in and finish my morning calls and then go to lunch only to not return. And that is the short version of why I am able to pick up where  I left off with my blog. So I am happy to be back!!!! and I have so much going on now because I now have a new appreciation for my life. I have'nt done any writings and I have a painting I have been working on but its not quite complete. I want to write a poem for it.....sooooooo....stay tuned!!!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Out of hibernation

It has been a while since I posted anything on my blog. Life has really been keeping me busy. I think that's a good thing considering. I have been writing in my book and I am very pleased with the progress. I have gone through 5 publishers and I think I actually found one I like.My husband decided that I should be able to type whenever I feel the needwithout worrying about one of our kids accidentally erasing any of my material since we share one computer in the household, so he is getting me a really nice laptop and I am so excited! I have been working on a painting on a larger canvas as well something very new to me since I only use small canvas's. It has been very unusual for me to get the colors mixed exactly the way I want. Thank god I am only using oil because it doesnt take a lot to mix and if I mess up I can just scrap it off and start over. I am usually good about mixing but since this picture is of a black woman I am finding it difficult to get her skin tone the color I am looking for. Most people say that its harder to paint with acrylics than oil and the majority of my paintings are with acrylics. I am very optimistic though. I am going to try harder to read more blogs and getting more verbal about responding to other ideas and interests. I am excited about what the future is bringing for me and my family and I can't wait for things to start unfolding so that I can began sharing more about this journey called my life! Bon dia