Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Maz uma vez Maz uma voz (One time plus a voice)

I am very very proud of myself.I ran two miles without stopping! I just love running and whenever I feel stressed and need to get some relief I just take off. Now, it hasn't always been that easy for me to do that. I remember 3 yrs ago,even though I knew I should not have been putting that much strain on my body; I decided to start jogging.I remember there was this lady on the trail that I use to walk on and she made sure she would come out on the same days that I did.Almost like she was showing off. I started off good but she was better. She would run 45 minutes non stop and I only ran 14. I wanted to be considered a "runner" so bad that I ran until my legs felt like they were going to buckle over. As each day would go by I found myself and my time in running getting shorter and shorter. The last time I tried to run I cried the whole time that I jogged because my shins hurt so bad and I was short of breath but I didn't want to stop. So I made a doctors appointment in hopes that my current health issue wasn't getting worse.And actually it had. My specialist said that I couldn't breath because their was a lump on my thyroid pressing on my esophagus and that's why I was winded whenever I tried to run.Radiation didn't stop it from growing and medication wasn't working.I was going to have to have surgery.Needless to say, I was devastated but I knew it was something that had to be done.This changed a lot of things for me. I won't go into that because it was a very emotional journey for me.I will say this, after recovery and after 2 years of around the clock visits to my specialists I can finally say that nothing is growing back.There are no more tired and cranky days and no more achy joints from fatigue, and most of all no more hair loss!YES!!! I am back to the energetic person I always was and will be! I remember my husband asking me the last time he trimmed my then mini-fro... "This is it, what do you want to do with your hair after the surgery?" that was then, when I decided that I would never cut my hair again. Clippers and scissors were associates that I did not like being acquainted with.Well anyhow,I had the surgery and now I have tons of energy! I don't like taking naps at all, and I don't like sitting around doing nothing.It's one thing to feel down and out because you have no choice but to;and its another thing to feel that way because you choose to feel sorry for your self...and that's not me.I didn't talk much about what was going on with me for 2years because I don't like to be the center of attention. Even on the days when I felt I was going to pass out from exhaustion from just standing up.But god sent some wonderful doctors and nurses my way and he new what kind of encouragement I needed and that is why I am so happy today. I prayed for energy and youthfulness and he gave it back to me! I can out run my children now and I want to get up and be productive everyday even when things seem out of control. I try not to repeat the negative things that go on around me because I believe there is always good in all situations that we go through it just depends on how you look at it. I only make positive reinforcements a habit...I always try to build the foundation up in my household. I don't believe that saying "if momma aint happy nobody is happy!" It seems that nobody is happy anyway that's why momma isn't. I am still on the path in my life and I can't wait to see what direction I am headed in next.

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