It is so funny how I can write anything else but when I HAVE to write something I procrastinate. I have been sitting in different places in my house thinking that maybe I can come up with an ending to that first story that everyone wants me to finish. But nope..... So I'm going to blog about everything I have been thinking about the whole time I was suppose to be writing. Maybe this will clear my mind and I can do what I was suppose to be doing in the first place. My husband has really been on my mind today. I am so in love with him and who he is and the roles that he plays in my life. He is such an inspiration to me always critiquing my speech and actions in life. It use to bother me because I never really thought that he cared about how he made me feel; but one day in a very, very stormy part of my life, I was sitting alone and I was crying, he asked me why and I told him that I felt so alone. I felt like no one understood me and that I never felt like I was ever an important person and I had to just take whatever any and everyone dished out to me; because I just didn't matter. He just looked at me and said "OK" in his very calm and patient voice and said "you are important to me, I think the world of you because you are the missing part of my life that makes me whole." He then left for work that morning and nothing was ever said about that little conversation again. Later on that evening, as I was turning down the covers in our bed, I saw an envelope on my pillow. I opened it, and inside was a picture of a quiet desolate scene of a lake and in the middle of it read: every time you cry I cry silently.
and every time you hurt I will do whatever it takes to make it better.
I am so sorry that instead of helping you heal the hurt I only made it worse.
Every morning from this day forward I will kiss you everyday until my kisses take your hurt way,
if somebody made you mad I will kiss you until you're glad,
if life seems to amplify unnecessary strife,
in and instant my kisses will make it all right.
I am yours for all and eternally.
so now you know your not alone because you have me.
I have that card and one of the notes he wrote me in high school. I actually had a whole notebook of all the letters and balloons and dried up roses that he ever gave me but he convinced me to throw them away because they were fading and the dried roses looked like molded flakes of charcoal. I agreed. He doesn't know that I kept one of them and when my daughter and I have our little talks she wants me to pull the letter out and talk about how it was when I was dating her dad (my husband) in high school. I think its so special that when she grows up she wants to marry someone that's just like her daddy. I love how he treats her like the little princess she is but he also shows her what is expected of her as a young lady. I am also astounded at how he can discipline our boys and love them at the same time. Men have a hard time showing affection so this was something he made an effort to do as the boys were growing up. My husband and I have really held on tight through the trials in our life. That's why we look forward to the times we can spend with each other because even though we have been together for 18 years; we still find each other interesting and love it when we can get to know each other just a little bit more. I wrote a poem for my husband, dedicated to that moment which has been one of the highlights in my life every since that card 8 years ago.
FOREVER IN A MOMENT
By Latresa Ivy
His touch is like trees growing toward the sun.
When he looks at me I know I'm the only one.
Cant wait to go to bed at night.
How I long for him to pull me close
and hold me tight.
and talk the little pillow talk...
like we do every night
discussing issues and little oversights.
like how we handle issues in our everyday life,
and letting things go that may have caused some strife.
His voice is so soft, sexy and masculine.
anything about me is always concerning.
As he holds me so closely; I feel his heart beat.
matching the rhythm in his voice,
as he speaks.
Nothing he says to me is absurd.
I'm like a school girl in love,
hanging on to his every word.
Soft, yet firm hands intertwine with mine.
This feeling of love is so amazing every time.
He holds me close as I close my eyes.
I thank god every morning because he allowed us to rise;
more in love and closer than the day before,
kissing and saying I love you as we walk out the door.